The Only Lullaby

I was recently watching the movie Philomena, when I felt it. The sadness boiling up again, threatening to spill over and burn every part of me. In the movie (spoiler alert), Philomena’s 3 year old son is taken away from her, against her will. She watches as he is crying and fighting and driving away […]

The Waiting Room

Yesterday I had my 30 week pre-natal OB appointment. As I sat in the waiting room, I watched a couple walk back in from the Ultrasound room. They had the fresh pictures of their little baby folded up and gripped tightly. They both sat down and didn’t say a word to each other. They didn’t […]


In my other posts about our recent miscarriage, you may have noticed me talking about my “son.” Though it was far too early to have known anything about gender before we lost our child, for a few weeks prior to our loss, Jordan and I had both been certain that this was a boy. When […]

Marks of my Son

Last weekend, Jordan and I each took turns having a 24 hour personal retreat.  I  went in to the weekend thinking it was going to be rejuvenating.  I had major plans for Chinese takeout, chocolate, binge TV watching, reading, and sleeping in. Honestly, it didn’t turn out as amazing as it sounds. It’s ironic: staying […]