When I woke up this morning and started brewing some coffee, Jordan asked me if I was doing ok. “Yea, I’m fine… why would I not be doing ok?” I was legitimately confused. Jordan seemed a bit hesitant, “Well you know, last night you were… pretty upset about a few things.”
Oh right. That.
When the Crazies paid a visit.
So here’s the thing: I promise I am not normally a melodramatic person. But every now and then (about once a month, come to think of it 😉 ), the “Crazies” step in. All rational thought leaves my body for a few minutes, and one single emotion is magnified by about 29890838 times. Welcome to being a woman.
This happened last night. Probably about an hour before bed, I started feeling pretty upset. I knew I needed to go into the bedroom immediately and check in with Jordan. You know, just see if he knew a few important things.
Did he know that I have been eating REALLY healthy lately and I have been working out FREQUENTLY (like, EVERYDAY!!!), and yet the results are coming SOOOO slow?!!? I mean… (GASP) what if I were to end up getting pregnant again sometime soon?! Did he know that would mean that I would gain a TON of weight all over again, and this time I would NEVER take it off and, DID HE KNOW THAT HIS FUTURE WAS GOING TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO COULD NEVER LOSE BABY WEIGHT??!?!?!?!?! DID HE??
(no pause for him to answer).
Also, did he know that I am SO frustrated with THAT bookshelf!!?!?!? I swear I have organized it SO many times and yet books just keep piling up and it looks SO bad and one day he is going to walk into our home, not be able to find me, and then be like, “Oh there’s my wife who can never lose weight, she is stuck under a pile of BOOKS!”
(no pause for him to answer).
Finally (and very importantly), did he know that I HATE those curtains in our room?! I mean, doesn’t he know that they are just awful? And how did I ever let that happen? How did I actually PICK OUT, PURCHASE, and let us HANG those awful curtains? Did he know that he had married a wife who was NOT good at keeping a home, because obviously a wife who is good at that would have never let those curtains happen?!!
When I finally paused for him to answer, the expression on his face was priceless. I wish I had a picture of it. It was as if he were trying to muster up some hint of empathy, compassion and understanding, but he was very obviously suppressing laughter and stifling a smile.
I think it was that face that made me suddenly realize how ridiculous I was being, and we both erupted into laughter :).
Once I realized why he asked if I was ok this morning, I couldn’t help laughing again.
I feel fine about where my weight is right now, and if we were to have the privilege of getting pregnant again, I would do nothing but rejoice! Weight is nothing compared to the joy of a child, and I have had way too many friends suffer through miscarriage or infertility to ever take that for granted. I would take the weight if it gave us another child any day.
I know it will only take me 10 minutes or less to organize the bookshelf.
And I don’t really hate our bedroom curtains.
Good thing the crazies are gone and they don’t come very often, or else I’m not sure we would survive them.
However, they do provide for some good, “remember that time when _______” laughing memories, so I thought I would record them to laugh about later.