(I’ve never done this in a blog post before, but I was thinking it would be kind of cool, so click “play” on the video above and listen to this song as you read this post).
Being a mother is absolutely the most incredible thing I have ever experienced in my life. Especially right now. I have loved every single day and month of Riley’s life, but this 15 month old stage? It is the sweetest thing I have ever experienced.
I cannot explain to you what I feel inside my heart as I watch my daughter. She is just SO so happy all the time, it is incredible to observe. She laughs at everything. Sometimes it is this adorable little giggle, when you give her Eskimo kisses or when we sing “The Wheels on the Bus” or I put one of her puppets on my hand and make it talk to her and hug her. But other times it is this hysterical, hearty laugh where she throws her head back and you can see all of her little teeth. Like when Jordan gets home from work and chases her around the living room or jumps with her on the bed. Or when she pulls my hair (apparently it is REALLY funny to hear me yell “Owww!”) or pretends to eat my nose.
She has recently started doing this thing where she shrugs her shoulders up and down when she is really excited. Sometimes she gets so excited that I seriously start to think she might burst!
Her joy is contagious. And it just consumes me with delight in her.
Let me give you an example:
A couple of days ago I laid in bed with her, and I cried. I was having a hard day and I just felt sad. She looked at me confused, she’s not used to seeing mommy cry. Then she so sweetly and tenderly laid her face on my face to comfort me. Which, of course, just made me cry more. She is only 15 months old, and already she knows how to feel compassion. But then after laying on my face for a few minutes, she sat up straight, yelled this happy, funny yell at the top of her lungs, and started CRACKING up at herself! And that was it, all of my sadness melted away as I also erupted into a fit of laughter. The two of us then just gave in to 20 minutes of giggles, tickles, and bouncing.
She is so funny. Man am I in love.
And this is what I get to do every day as her mother. It is the most rewarding, delightful, fun, joyful thing I have ever done in my life!
I often look forward to the evening when she is asleep and I either get time to myself (if Jordan is working) or time with my husband. But (I’m not kidding) within an hour of Riley being asleep, I miss her. When Jordan gets home from work, we sneak in her room together and smile at each other as we watch her sleep, peacefully dreaming. We usually watch a video (or 2 or 5) of her before going to bed, and we laugh as we talk about our favorite moments with her throughout the day.
To think that this mirrors the affections that the God of the Universe has towards us is incomprehensible.
I realized this today:
Riley’s love for me is not that deep. It just isn’t. If you were to view our relationship through her love, it would be a bit shallow. But that is ok, because my love for her is much deeper! The truth is, Riley will probably never love me as much as I love her. But that honestly doesn’t disappoint me. Because the love I have for her is rich enough in itself. The love I have for her brings me so much joy, I don’t need her to love me as much for it to be complete.
Which teaches me this:
I often spend time in my faith reflecting on my love for God. But I think that then causes my faith to be shallow. Because to be honest, my love for God doesn’t run that deep. I wish it did, but really none of us really love Him that well. But if I reflect instead on HIS love, I will find my faith reaching depths I did not know existed. His love has no lacking, and His love is enough.
Oh, how He loves us!