A friend of mine wrote a blog post this morning as if being on a coffee date with her readers. I enjoyed reading it and loved the idea so much, I thought I would do the same :).
So if I were on a coffee date with you this morning…
I would tell you that it is so good to sit down with you, enjoy delicious coffee and mutual conversation.
I would ask you what has really been going on in your life. You know, the stuff beyond the stuff you’d tweet about.
After sharing honestly (I hope), you might ask me the same question.
I would tell you that my apartment has been a mess the past 2 weeks.
I would tell you that we’ve been out of razors, face wash, and dish detergent for most of the week (dirty dishes and faces are in, no?); and that I’ve been feeding my family tuna sandwiches and lean pockets for dinner. My daughter may or may not have worn the same pj’s 2 nights in a row, there is a mountain of laundry that needs tending to, and I think we could all use a nice.long.nap. And glass of wine. And Christmas movie. (Ok you’re right, Riley does get naps so one of us is winning. And I have had wine, and I’m still not winning. Touche).
I’ve been too busy, friend. I took on a bit too much these past 2 weeks. And I’ll tell you this: the busy schedule lifestyle is not for me. My type “B” personality just doesn’t handle it well. I get overwhelmed and stressed, and then tempted to just shut down. My max capacity just isn’t as much as some people that I know. It doesn’t take much to push me to my edge.
And I’m ok with that. God has done a lot of work in that area of my life, friend. I used to see my personality as a detriment. I would get angry at the fact that I could never seem to take on as much busyness as other people around me. Who I am seemed to get in the way of what I needed to get done. Why couldn’t I just be more type “A” and energetic as some of my co-workers? I am more of a be-er than a do-er and this would frustrate me. Man, I’m glad God didn’t leave me in that place! Instead, he showed me that my personality is a blessing, not a curse. As a matter of fact, it turns out there are many people (my husband, for example) who can really benefit from having a slower-paced person in their life. Before these crazy 2 weeks, I was around a lot more. And I started to become friends with a neighbor who was out searching for someone to pray for her one day.
She found me God led her to me, and we’ve started stopping by each other’s apartments throughout the week to say “hi,” pray, give each other coupons, or tell each other about deals going on at local grocery stores. But that was 2 weeks ago. Because then I just got too busy. I’ve been thinking about the fact that availability is such a rare and beautiful gift in our culture today. I want to fight to bring it back.
If we were out for coffee I would tell you that although I know Riley is too young to understand giving grace to people, I swear she has been pouring it over me lately. For that reason, I cannot stop wrapping her in my arms and kissing those chubby cheeks. I swear that one of the most significant ways that the Lord speaks to my soul is through that little girl. Oh! then I would tell you that (by the way!) she has started walking! It’s only 3 or 4 steps at a time before she falls, but she does it all day and I am so proud of her.
I would tell you that these past 2 weeks have shown me that my heart is in the home. I realized that I actually find joy in making our home a clean and restful place, cooking delicious meals for my family, singing children’s songs and reading books with my daughter. I have missed doing those things in a restful rather than stressful way. I have hated getting so behind on managing our home.
I would tell you that last night I gave a talk at an InterVarsity Large Group for the 1st time in over 2 years. And it was hard for me. I couldn’t read my audience well and I fell a bit rusty in my delivery. But as He always does, God still worked through it and I was encouraged by conversations I had with students afterward. It completely exhausted me, but I think it’s important to challenge and develop skills and gifts that God has given me, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to serve my husband’s ministry in that way.
If we were really digging into each other’s lives, I would tell you that I had a cool realization last night as I was trying to fall asleep. I realized that somewhere along the last several months, I have been freed from my post-baby body struggle. As a matter of fact, this morning I took a picture of my stomach. (weird, right?)
(a) I wanted to be encouraged by the progress I’ve made in my weight loss, but also
(b) As I realize that I am getting close to my pre-baby weight, I actually decided I want to remember this body. Isn’t that
strange cool? I realized that I have come to love it. Now that, my friend, has got to be the work of the Lord Almighty. But I think this is why: when I have been in my best shape ever and when my body has looked its best, it was entirely for me. It made me feel good, and it made me feel admired or (let’s just say it) worshiped. But this body has been entirely for others. This body speaks the story of selflessness. It says that this body grew and took care of my sweet, happy little grace-giver. It says that instead of honing away hours at the gym, I have been taking care of a little person. It shows that I have actually learned what it means to love another more than myself, and at a cost. And that story and realization has been so sweet to me, that I have actually found myself mourning the baby body as my body starts to look more like it used to! How crazy is that? I’m telling you friend, the Lord works through my little girl.
There is more I could tell you, and more I wish you could tell me. There are so many of you that I wish I could grab an actual cup of coffee with in person! Whether it’s time or distance that prevents us from doing so, I am thankful for the technology that we have today to connect us to one another. It was fun having a “coffee date” with you today. Happy weekend :).