Recently it has come to my attention that two people I once cared about de-friended me on Facebook. These are not those rando Facebook friends that I’ve only met once or haven’t seen or talked to since Middle School. These were people who I spent a lot of time with a few years ago and considered actual friends. Now, you may be thinking, “That sounds so
Middle Elementary School to talk about how people ‘de-friended you’ on a social media.” And if so, you are right. It is. But here’s the thing: I struggle with a certain disorder.
I have been plagued with this
disorder problem weakness sin issue most of my life. I absolutely cannot stand the thought of people not liking me. It makes me sick to my stomach if I think I have done something to hurt or offend someone. If someone says something that hurts me, it is difficult for me to recover. If it is apparent that someone dislikes me, I rack my brain constantly to figure out what I did/didn’t do/looked like/said that gave them a sour taste toward me.
Which is what I found myself doing in this particular situation.
Was I posting way too many pictures of my daughter? Do they get annoyed by people who talk about their kids too much? Did I post a status that hurt or offended them? Did one of my blog posts that were linked to FB hurt or offend them? Did they feel like I was putting my faith ALLUPINTHEIRFACE? Do things I talk about just straight up annoy them?
Or worst of all, do they just not like me. Period.
The reason I am opening up to you about this (hesitantly, because let’s be honest: I am a little worried that you won’t like what you see of me here) is because I have actually found something helpful to me that I wanted to pass along, in the small chance that someone out there reading can relate. It comes from one of my favorite Bible teachers, Steve Brown (I know, I know, I’ve reference him like
2839274982374932 2839274982374933 times in my blog). In one of his lectures for the “Grace in the Church” class at RTS, he said two things that are really freeing that helped me in this and many other situations:
1: You don’t have to like everyone. You just don’t. I don’t have to like every single person I meet or get to know, and every person I meet or get to know doesn’t have to like me either. Now, scripture calls Christians to love everyone, even their enemies. But that doesn’t mean we have to like everyone. We are people. We have preferences, likes and dislikes. Just as sure as I am not going to prefer or like every single person I know, they are not all going to prefer or like me either. And that’s ok. They actually have the right to dislike me.
2: You have the right to be human. Humans mess up. We do things wrong. We annoy people. We offend people. We hurt people, even if by accident. We fail. I mean, this is why we needed the cross. I need Jesus. With Him in my life, cool and good things can and do come out of my mouth and my actions. But I’m still human. So offensive, wrong, and annoying things can and do come out of my mouth and actions too. It’s ok that I fail sometimes. I have the right to be human. And everyone else around me has the right to be human too.
So the truth is, someone may “de-friend” me from a social media or not pursue a friendship with me in general in life, simply because they don’t like me. And that’s ok. Because they have the right not to like me. Or I might say something stupid, do something annoying, or offend someone. I might mess up. And that’s ok too. Not that I want to offend anyone. If I have done something wrong or hurtful I want to know, repent, ask forgiveness, and restore relationship. But I don’t have to beat myself up. I have the right to be human.
Somehow, that makes me feel better. Lighter. Free.